Day of losses and finds
by NikaVardy
Summary: It's a St.Valentine's Day and it's going be a party. Dawn wants to invite Ash, but her invitation turns into a huge scandal in which Ash says that he hates St.Valentine's day and run away. So, what could happen to Ash that he hates this holiday so much?


Hello everyone! My name is Nika, but you also can call me Vardy (this nickname I made from my surname). I'm huge pearlshipping fan and I wanted to write a fanfic for a long time, but I've never had enough time because of school, exams, friends and other reasons. But yesterday I finally wrote this one-shot fic in honor of St. Valentine's day. Unfortunately, my internet decide to betray me and yesterday it turns off, so I couldn't published it. But now, I'm finally made it! It will be romantic story, but sad a little. But with happy end! So, enjoy the story and do not forget to write me a review! ))

P.S. English is not my native language, so if you find some mistakes, just told me.

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Day of losses and finds.

February 14 was sunny and clear day. White snow sparkled in the sun, looks like the collection of diamonds. This sparkle beautifully combined with a bright red attributes of Valentine's Day, which was decorated the city. Almost all the houses were in posters about the party which will be in the evening. When Dawn, Ash and Brock entered the city, it seemed as if they were in a completely different world.  
- Oh! Is February 14! I'd forgotten quite! Look, guys, today will be a party in honor of Saint Valentine's Day! We are need to go there! - Dawn came to a complete delight from what was happening in the city. Her eyes sparkled with happiness, she was so filled with joy and enthusiasm that seemed not to notice anything around herself. Ash liked to see her like this. Usually her joyous laughter and sparkling eyes caused him a smile and joy. But today the guy was unusually quiet and silent. He had not responded to her proposal, and only looked down into the ground. Dawn thought that it's strange for him, but she decided not to know the cause of his mood in the hope that by the evening he will be in better mood.  
But her hopes were dashed. Ash stayed depressed all day and did not want to talk to anyone. Even Brock was unable to make him talk. Because of this, Dawn began to feel unhappy too. Her enthusiasm waned, and the laughter subsided.  
_"What is happening to him and why he behaves so strangely? I never saw that it was so sad and silent. Even after the defeat of Paul, he was in better mood. Maybe it's my fault? Perhaps he would like to be with another girl on this holiday? With Misty or May? Or maybe he was simply afraid to walk alone on the party? Maybe it's my chance? I would invite him ..."_ With this thought Dawn rose from her bed in PokeCentre and went to Ash, who was lying on a nearby bed with his eyes closed. Brock wasn't in the room. At the moment, the breeder was looking for a girlfriend in the lobby, and obviously not going to give up without success.  
- Ash? - Timidly called Dawn, but no answer. - Ash!  
- What?  
- Can I ask you something?  
- About what?  
- At first, can you look at me?  
- Why?  
- I want to talk to you! - Dawn began to irritate. She was become desperate because of his behaviour. But she wanted so much to this day was special for them. She wanted to finally admit her feelings to the young trainer.  
Ash felt a pain in her voice, and finally got out of bed. He absolutely did not want to upset the girl, but he could not look in her eyes. It was beyond his power.  
_"Oh, Dawn ... How I wish that you could not see me today. I don't want you to know me like that. You certainly want to spend the holiday with joy, but I'll never be able to give you this. You think that I mad at you, but the reason is not you. I wish I could tell you everything, but I can't ... It's too hard. "_ Ash clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. It seemed that he was terribly angry, but Dawn had no idea what was happening in his soul.  
- Ash, please, look at me. - Dawn's voice sounded tears. Ash couldn't let her to cry because of him. The guy looked up and their eyes met. Dawn was surprised by what the pain was in his brown eyes. - Ash, what's going on with you?  
- I'm okey. - _"False. Today, nothing can be okey. "_  
- No. I see that something is wrong.  
- Dawn. Everything is fine!  
- Are you sure?  
- Yes.  
- Okay, I'll believe you. - Dawn decided to change the plan of action and not to annoy him anymore. She saw that he does not like it, but she did not want him to anger.  
- That's good. What do you want me to ask? - His tone relented, and in Dawn's heart apperaed a hope. She sighed and decided to finally ask a question.  
- Listen, you've heard about that today will be a party ?....  
- Yes.  
- You're going to go there?  
- No. - This answer was surprise for her. She knew that normally Ash went to all the partys which could, and never missed them.  
- But why?  
- I can't.  
- Why?  
- Just can't.  
- It's because of me? - Now it was Ash's turn to look surprised. He looked in amazement at sad girl and his heart felt pain. He could not admit that she was thinking about him so bad.  
- No. You are not the reason.  
- Then what is it?  
- I can't say.  
- Why?  
- Don't you think that today you asked me "Why?" too many times? - In place of the surprise came Ash's irritation and anger. Dawn was startled change in his mood, but was not going to give up.  
- You didn't answer me! I want to know why!  
- You had better not know.  
- I must know!  
- No! You must not know anything! This is only my personal business! - Ash was becoming angry. He squeezed his fists and his eyes began to burn rage. Dawn saw that his was shaking with anger, but she began to get angry and could not stop the dispute.  
- I'm so disgusted for you that you can't even share your problem with me?  
- It's not about you! I just can't tell you this!  
- I'm fed up with you! I can't more hear your "I can't!" Admit that you just don't want to go on party with me!  
- How much can I repeat that you're not the reason?  
- Until you finally explain what's going on! Why you don't want to go? Why? Why? Why?? - Dawn has already lost control over her words and actions. She was angry that he did not trust her, that he did not want to go with her on party. She was almost sure that Ash hated her. And it is fueled in her despair. She was anger by the fact that the man whom she loved more than anything else hate her and that her love is hopeless. She pushed Ash in his chest, wanting to cause him the same pain which he caused her at the moment. But it didn't seen that her punch caused him so much pain. Ash did not even shaken, but he become even more furious. - Why? ...  
- You so want to know?  
- Yes!  
- Do you want to?  
- Yes!  
- I hate Valentine's Day! Hate! Understood? This is the worst day of the year and I would be happy if it never came! - Dawn was shocked about this news from Ash. She could not understand what he might do not like in the usual holiday. Didn't like this much that in his eyes was expression of the terrible hate and anger.  
- But why? ...  
- Because, that day the worst thing that can happen only in the world!  
- Wrong! It is a bright, good day! Thanks to him, the lovers can celebrate their feelings! At that day boys and girls are having fun and dancing at parties and discos! And I also want to have fun today! - Dawn felt tears that began to fall from her eyes.  
She had hoped that they would celebrate together with Ash today and all will be romantically. And now her plan was crushed before her eyes ..  
- Do you want to have fun!? Well, go! I really bother you? Invite Kenny, Paul or Barry! I am sure they will be happy to make you company! They'll come here from the other end of the world! And leave me alone! - With these words, Ash turned around and flew out of the room, slamming the door.  
_"I would like to invite you ... Why don't you see that I don't need somebody else? ... Oh, Ash, I'm so in love with you ..."_ - Dawn fell to her knees and began to cry, her heart seemed to gone away, losing the ability to beat. - _"I ruined everything. What I was bothering him, why I did not keep quiet? Was it so it was necessary to me to make sure that at least in this Valentine's Day I will not be alone? Now our friendship end. I will lose it forever. He'll never talk to me again. He hates me. No, I do not live through it, I'll die if I see again that look of hate again. I'll go away. Just go away. Without me, he'll be better. And I will be better. Maybe some day I'll forget everything. "_ - Dawn raised her head and slowly stood up. She took the notebook from her bag, wrote a few lines and put it on the Ash's bed. Then she gathered her things, took pokebolls and, with the last glance at the room, went out.

Ash quickly ran down the street, not noticing anyone around. He was angry and at the same time, he had a terrible sense of guilt. He despised himself for all the things he said to Dawn. He was sure that she hates him and he coldn't blame her for this. He didn't want this to happen, didn't want to upset her, but he lost his patience. Lost control. Now he will have to pay for it. Ash slowed a step and sighed deeply. The frosty air refreshed him and helped to relax a little. He forgot his jacket in Pokecentre, but he was so excited, that he was not cold. He slowly walked forward, glad that Pikachu stayed with nurse Joy, and he could be alone. Soon Ash found a small glade with a rather large rock in the middle. He had not even noticed that he left out of the city. The guy sat on the snow, leaning on a stone and began to think: _"What should I do? I've told her too much ... She'll not forgive me... Not, if only... No, I can't tell her. I'm sure she will understand me but ... I sweared to never talk about __her __agan! But I often think about her. Especially in __this__ day! And if I talk about it, then ... I do not know what will happen to me . I not pronounce her name more than nine years. I do not know if I can control myself. What if I again begin to rage No.... I can't. I just can't."_ - Ash sighed and took a handful of snow, and rubbed his face. This makes him shake a little. Suddenly he began to realize that it's cold. However, he could not return without taking a decision. -_ "I must decide. I can't tell her. It's too hard. But also I can't let her go. Dawn means too much for me. If I'll not tell her everything, I'll lose her. I can not live through it. I can't lose her. And if she really will find someone else? And I'll have to look at them and see all their dates, kisses and hugs ... All, I decided, I'll tell her! I must! Must!_ - Ash jumped up and headed back to Pokecentre. Along the way he had the thought that at this moment Dawn may agree on a date with what some guy. This idea led him to accelerate his pace and rushed forward as quickly as possible. Several minutes later, he flew into the room and ran into Brock who was standing in the middle of the room.  
- Brock? Where is Dawn?  
- That you ask me? - Brock's tone seemed strange to Ash. Breeder looks very angry. - What have you done?  
- In what sense?  
- Look at your bed. - Embarrassed strange behavior Brock, Ash went to his bed and saw a piece of paper with the painfully familiar handwriting.  
_" To Ash._  
_You know, when today I was reminded of Valentine's Day, I thought that I finally had a chance to spend it with someone I love. I dreamed about this day all my life. But my dreams faills. You will never be mine, I should understand it before. You need the best girl which you can trust and love as much as you can. I'll never be her, but I wanted this so much. I am sorry that I have to leave like this, but I just can't look into your eyes after what happened today. I should not have been so persistent. You have to do whatever you want. Forgive me. And... Goodbye._  
_Dawn. "_

After reading the letter, Ash felt how his heart had stopped. How blind he was! How couldn't he noticed her feelings? Had he lost her too? No. He could not let her go like this. Ash put the letter in his pocket and snapped back on the street. He did not know where did she go and stood at the crossroads for a minute. Nearby stood a man who reclaimed the party which will be today. Ash ran up to him and asked him if he saw Dawn. He was lucky. The man said that she left 15 minutes ago on the road leading away from the city toward the forest. That was something. Now, Ash knew that she decided to leave the city. On the road, on which she had left, there was no other ways. Ash ran forward so fast that everything has turned into one big blur. Finally he saw a familiar silhouette in front of him. Dawn walked slowly along the road, with her head bowed and eyes closed. Ash increased speed and jumped into the road directly in front of her. Girl's eyes widened in surprise and she stopped on the spot.  
- Ash? What are you doing here?  
- I want to ask you the same thing. Dawn, why did you go?  
- Don't you understand? I left you a note.  
- Dawn, I am very sorry that it happened this morning, but ... - Ash held out his hand to touch a girl, but she recoiled from him.  
- No, Ash. You do not owe me to explain. I've already knew. You just can not trust me, I do not blame you. Apparently I do not deserve your trust. Then so be it. - Dawn proudly raised her head and continued her way.  
- Dawn ... Listen to me ... Please.  
- I don't want to listen something. Just let me go. - Dawn walked faster, trying to break away from Ash, but he did not try to catch her.  
Lowering her head, he only whispered:  
- Nine years ago on Valentine's Day my sister died.  
Dawn froze and slowly turned around. She was in shock. Neither Ash nor any of his friends or relatives did not say that he had a sister. The girl came closer to him and looked into his eyes. They had such pain that her heart stopped beating at some point.  
- Ash ... I didn't know ...  
- No one knows. Nobody except me, my mother and Professor Oak. We sweared not to talk about her. We never mentioned her name from the day of the funeral. - Each word was difficult to him. Breathing was shot down, but his heart was beating at an incredible rate. Dawn felt how tears began to fall from her eyes. It felt like a traitor. She left him in such a hard day for him. The girl leaned to Ash and hugged him tightly. Ash hugged her back and felt the smell of her hair. Ironically, this helped him to calm down. Then he looked into her eyes and kissed her. At first he just touched his lips to her lips, then he became more insistent, and soon they began to kiss really passionate and fiery. A few minutes later, they moved away from each other to catch a breath. Both felt a little embarrassed, but one look at each other helped them get rid of this feeling. And they once again joined in a kiss.

Three hours later.

Ash and Dawn were in Pokecentre, sat in front of the fireplace and drank hot chocolate. About three hours they walked through the woods, talking about everything and, periodically, not talking and just kissed or hugged. During this time, they had very freeze and now they were warming up before the fireplace in an empty Pokecentre. All the people were on party and they could just stay alone. In fact, Dawn was not even upset that she is not on a party. She is much more like to just sit here in his arms. She thought about what might happen to Ash's sister and how it affected him. She didn't ask, hoping that he will tell everything when he'll be ready. But it didn't took a long time to wait. Five minutes later, Ash started to talk:  
- Her name was Roxy. She was eight years older than me and has been for me like a second mother, helping our mother cope with me. Because I grew up without a father and it was hard to my mother to care about me alone, Roxy was helping her a lot. I was four years old when our mother ran away from our father and we were forced to wander to different cities in search of the home. Once we met Professor Oak. He helped us to stay in Pallet Town. He bought us a house, furniture, food and found a work for mom. She worked all day, and Roxy was sitting with me. We lived like these long enough, it was hard, but we survived. Roxy was my sister, friend, mother and role model. She dreamed of becoming a coordinator as you are. But not able to start the road until we not started to live normally. When I was eight, she went on a journey, but always came back on all holidays and weekends. One day she came to us on Valentine's Day, but was not alone, with her boyfriend. I hoped to spend all weekends with her but she decided that the holiday she would spend with him, and with us she will be the next day. But they have an accident ... He survived. She is not. She'll never be able to come back on a holiday to us. For us it was a terrible loss. Since then, I hate Valentine's Day. My mother and I have sweared not to think about her ever. And never mentioned her name. So I never mentioned her name again, but forget about her I couldn't. I often think of her, especially on February 14. Most of all, I always got angry that all people adore this day, but for me it's the most miserable day of my life. I was always confident that I could never be happy in that day, but today ... - He looked at Dawn and she noticed that his eyes were full of tears, but he was smiling. She did not know how to react to the fact that she was the first to whom he told this story. She felt like a part of his family because of this secret which brought them closer. Although ... So it was. - Today, everything has changed. Now this day for me, not only the day when I lost my sister, but also the day when I found you. - He smiled and pulled her toward him as a possible closer. She buried her nose in his chest and softly whispered:  
- You found me quite a long time.  
- No. Today I found you again. And believe me, I'll not going to loose you again. Let this day no longer be the day of losses, but only the day of finds.  
- I like that. - Dawn looked into his eyes and smiled.  
- Me too. - Ash smiled back and they fixed their deal with the passionate kiss.

The end.

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Hooray! It finished! I hope that you liked it. Right now I have an inspiration and a lot of ideas for new stories! Soon I'll write new pearlshipping fanfic! Just wait a little. And, please, do not forget to write did you like my 's fanfic or not. I'll be waiting for you reviews.

Yours FlyWithoutWings aka Vardy.


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